Thursday 12 December 2013

Abyss Is Me

Perception. That is what everything is. Reality is just our version of an illusion that we believe to be true. Believe something to be definitely true? Look again.

Abyss Is Me
By:Akhilesh Agarwal
Look deep into the abyss
Deeper, till you can look no more
And you will see it is not so empty
As it is unloved
 
Look deep into the abyss
And all the shapes begin to appear
The words merely sung stuck on lips
For fear, for fear
 
Look deep into the abyss
And love it till you can love no more
The abyss shall embrace you
And never forget to love you.

Wednesday 27 November 2013

Song Tunes

Because Music is the ultimate cure.
 
Song Tunes
By: Akhilesh Agarwal
 
The song tunes beat through the winds
They fly off the air
They catch between your teeth
They are just everywhere
They come to settle
In a dark corner of you
They come to love
Every dark corner of you

Tuesday 26 November 2013

Time And Tide

To borrow a line from one of my favourite authors, from one of my favourite books:
'It is a metaphor.' -John Green, The Fault In Our Stars

Time And Tide
By: Akhilesh Agarwal
 
This sweet summer tides
They come to wash you away
In their arms they hold you
To the tunes they play
They dance like no other
Like no tomorrow, no yesterday
There will be a time another
When, finally, they will take you away.
 
 
 

Tuesday 19 November 2013

Serenade

I wrote this today. Unfortunately, there is nothing more to say.
 
Serenade
By: Akhilesh Agarwal
 
What I have lost, I search in your eyes

Your words so quiet, they lose their price

I am a fool, how will I ever know?

When I am ready to go
 

Let’s be in love and not be wise

But it is the distance in your eyes

What I shall be?  I never would have

Been the one to have

 

The lovely serenade flows in the air

Hold my hands and hold that stare

World is tearing apart at the seams, darling

We shall be alright. Don’t stop. Just sing.

 

Sunday 17 November 2013

Poisoned Lullaby

I wrote this long ago. I wrote this when I even questioned my mere existence. Do I even matter? I still am not sure. But I am sure of this: I will make myself matter. So, the title. Lullaby because these things helped me sleep like lullabies help a child sleep but its poisoned i.e. infected as it's not feel-good one. Sorry for that.

Poisoned Lullaby
By: Akhilesh Agarwal

Hold my hand, lead me down the stairs
Out of my dreams and into the world
It has been days, I long ago died

It has been quite a time since I breathed my last
I was always slow and world ever too fast
Would you lie on my sorrows and pump my heart
And glue my shattered pieces after I am apart?

I am as close to Hell as close I am to Heaven
Golden stairs made of steel, here I am
Would you give me a reason to live another night?
To think of sin, am I not right?
Well, who is to decide when He isn't even there?
Well, why to be if it will all eventually end?

Sun And Sand

Imagine this: Friendship. Laughter. Love. Those moments you feel infinite. You feel alive. Every single cell in you. And you are just glad you are here. Such friends are hard to come by. I write for one of mine.

Sun And Sand
By: Akhilesh Agarwal

Just think of a day, a day that shall be
When we are old and stupid, you see
We are sitting by a sea, murmuring them tree
Our feet intertwined, our smiles wide as world
So happy are our eyes, all our dreams realized
Of course we had troubles and we made million mistakes
But hope got us through, our friendship made it through
And you look at me and say, "Why did I even befriend thee?"
I smile and say, "That fact even escapes me."
And we laugh as the sun rises over the sea
And I realize how lucky I am to have a friend in thee.

Too Much of Talk

I wrote this poem in January'13. It was my tenth grade. I had to decide my career and I was terribly confused. I was so interested in learning everything. Be it Literature or Psychology or Medicine or Physics and unluckily, I just couldn't choose it all. I had to decide and I had to decide fast. I narrowed it down: To be a Writer or a Doctor? And then I decided I shall be both: A saviour through words, a saviour through pills. So, now I am preparing for my Medical Entrance Exams and penning my thoughts. Happy Times!

This poem is basically about me in my search of myself.

Too Much of Talk
By: Akhilesh Agarwal

The man asked me who I was
A simple question, really
I looked at him and through the space
If only I knew surely

He raised his eyebrows high
As I gazed upon the sky
The earth rushes me forward as
The birds try to answer me as they fly

He clicks his tongues and shakes me
Time is of essence, you see
But I can't take a step beyond
Without knowing what lies beneath me

So I decide to stand still
No matter how much other will
And the man shakes his head and leaves me
And finally it is me who I see

Sunday 10 November 2013

Vines


Vines
By: Akhilesh Agarwal
 
Blinding lights
This city hits me
With full force
It drags me
In its vines

All your love
It seeps through me
Into the abyss
It invites me
In its vines

Maybe I shall find there
What I seek in thee
Or maybe I shall not
Ever be free

Swollen bones, Empty lives
"Look around, can’t you see?
The tender strings, His eyes"
I am already
In His vines

 

 

Sunday 13 October 2013

Empty Glass

Empty Glass
By: Akhilesh Agarwal
 
When you have got no money
When you have got no sense
Just a little broken heart
That’s not ready to mend.
 
Yeah, that is when you smile so
The tears in your eyes row
You know good is coming
You just got to wait, oh.
 
Don’t close your eyes if not the sun
Because then you miss the stars too
Don’t close your heart, spill everything
So that you don’t miss her terribly too.
 
 

Tuesday 1 October 2013

Feather Light

Feather Light
By: Akhilesh Agarwal

Like a feather upon this world he lay
Gently, so unsurely
He thought he knew everything
Swiftly and sugary
He was at the precipice, he knew
Falling to the deep
But there was something about the height
The fear creep, the fear creep.

The steel melting away and resolve giving
May he fall to fail
He closed his eyes and fell into infinite
But minister, there was no bail!



Monday 12 August 2013

What Does It?

"What lies before us and what lies beyond us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. " -Ralph Waldo Emerson

What Does It?
By: Akhilesh Agarwal


Faith makes you do wonderful things, they say
I hear them with hands in my lap
Stories in my eyes swim away with softest of breezes
Hold them, they are a trouble worth

And they again say, keep faith
I hear them with hands in my lap
They say death is after all just the beginning
And everything of past aren't a trouble worth

Faith will get you through this, they cry
They are like black clouds in a golden sky
They keep me from truth, they know it too
In times like this, only time shall do.

Sunday 21 July 2013

Kept And Made

Kept And Made
By: Akhilesh Agarwal


If only you could wait till eternity, I swear I'd be there 
You know i keep all the promises, you know I do 
For now they keep me shackled and chained 
I beg them to let me go but they won't listen 
Cant they hear my voice? A whisper, a soft breeze 
But it is still there, etched and wretched, yet there 
Will you try to convince them and more importantly- 
convince me for i am scared that you are just an illusion 
And that i shall lose everything for you.

Tempted


    • Tempted
      By: Akhilesh Agarwal

      It calls for me, calls me to come chase
      The voice so sweet, so tempting heart
      I hear it in me, I hear it out
      Wont you tell it to stop? I could do without
      The melodious tune burns my veins 
      For I cant go there I just so cant
      As it is now in the dark and my soul
      Cant handle the suspense anymore
      So let it shut and stop giving me hope
      For I might follow it someday and burn me whole.

Monday 1 July 2013

Delight

Delight
By: Akhilesh Agarwal

Love is not as they say a delight
For seldom you feel the light
Believe me when I say
Though the will, never a way

Keep your glasses packed and wine-
down the drain
Sanity is the best addiction
Sing the merry way

Love is not as they say a delight
For forbidden it is in daylight
So keep your hopes packed and life-
down the drain.

Thursday 6 June 2013

Faith To Fathom


Faith to Fathom
By: Akhilesh Agarwal


I, Tom Jones, lowered the tinted windows of the red Pajero to get a clear look at the soothing daffodil fields that stretched as far as one’s naked eyes could see: swaying to the breeze and humming a melodious tune of their own. The afternoon sky was white and cloudless, a dull picture but my trip to India had been far from dull; it had instead been so refreshing that it felt that I had been hibernating. But now I felt awakened.
I craned my neck to look at a beautiful pond amidst the fields which was as clear as sky and calm as my soul and I had just begun to admire it when I was interrupted by a cough from my driver, Mr. Sahane. Mr. Sahane was an old and wrinkled man with dark brown eyes and swarthy complexion and despite his dusty and worn clothes exuded a sense of wisdom and understanding, as though he knew.
 
Mr. Sahane began, ‘Saaheb, if it wouldn’t be a problem with you there is a very magnificent Krishna temple nearby. Would you like to go?’
A little uncomfortable with Mr. Sahane addressing me as ‘Saaheb’ or ‘Sir’ when he was much older than me, I told him for the umpteenth time to call me Tom instead. Mr. Sahane just turned deaf ears.
‘Well, if it’s so ruddy good, why would a bloke want to miss it?’ I beamed and then seeing the confusion on Mr. Sahane’s face said, ‘Yes. I would be delighted.’
 
After fifteen minutes of smoke, dust and spectacles of nature, we were standing at the bottom of the stairs of an enormous white temple with exquisite marble work and carvings that made a person stand and stare. How well had Mr. Sahane expounded it: Magnificent!
          The marble idols were adorned with various gold jewelleries on one and every body part. It looked as though the angels of Heaven had made it their abode. As I forced my eyes away from it, I was startled. Standing near the idols was a handicapped man with only one hand and a leg and was fanning the idol with his intact hand. I was disgusted and repulsed. How could an already suffering person be made to suffer more? How could anybody be so cruel to make him pain like this!
 
As Mr. Sahane completed the parikrama of the idol, I immediately asked (okay, I screamed), ‘How can they do this to him?’ I began pointing to the poor fellow, ‘Don’t they feel any shame! I am sure it must be some last birth’s bad karma nonsense. It is ridiculous. Can’t we do anything about it?’ I breathlessly said as I made up my mind to surely save the man from his suffering.
          ‘We don’t need to do anything, Saaheb’, he smiled (certainly didn’t help the frustration that was building inside me!).
          ‘What do you mean we don’t need to do anything? Just look at him!’ I said exasperated.
          ‘Oh, I can certainly see him and what I see is the intense satisfaction on his face and not his deformities.’
 
          And sure enough when I looked away from his leprosy and at his face, I was startled yet again. There was bliss there as if he was not looking at an idol of God but God himself! There was such devotion on his face, so pure and simple: just like love. Only I realized that devotion was so much more, it demanded nothing and gave everything, it sacrificed all its comforts and expected not a penny in return.
         
          ‘Well, I certainly can’t see what is making him so happy. Where is the pleasure?’ I asked confused.
 
‘In small good things.’ He stated and seeing the confusion lines on my forehead deepen, shook his head and continued, ‘Let me tell you about him. He was a very rich landlord once but not the oppressive kind. He was loved and respected by everyone, he was an ideal man. But it is the Rule of Life that when one becomes too good, one is tested even more harshly. In a terrible car accident, he lost his whole family: a wife and two oh-so-little children, and also became handicapped.
Instead of involving himself in self-pity or agony, he came to this temple and here he says he found peace. Oh, how every human yearns for peace, but in the end, only the wise attain it.’ He shook his head and coughed again and continued, wiping his mouth, ‘He distributed his land and manor and decided to become a caretaker of this place. He calls this his home now and the God his family.’
 
I looked away from Mr. Sahane to look at the man again and saw that he was gazing at me intently. His intense eyes were dark black: like Death or a calm night sky. He gave a small smile and I smiled back at him. Who said God couldn’t be found in temples? I had just seen one.
 
 
 
 

Wednesday 29 May 2013

Love And Hate

Love And Hate
By: Akhilesh Agarwal

You looked at me and smiled that smile
That smile that strangled me
Such hatred i felt and such i suffer
To try not to love thee
The dawn that mocks my heart
Heart that never rises from dreams
Everything is hidden in dark
But light is slowly probing, it seems
Light brought by you in my crevice
You slowly gather me
But i am scared of this heart
That reveals such dark secrets to me
Now i know that all i had for thee
Was Love and all hatred was for me.

Monday 29 April 2013

Life You Call it?


Life You Call It
By: Akhilesh Agarwal

That misty sky and that misty land
Those misty eyes and those misty tears
The hope of dawn moves you along
On this harsh path we call Life
Those sudden accusations and dreadful attributions
The love of them, the loss of them
That dreadful nights in Fate's lap
Murdering ourselves in what we call Life
That aching pain in middle of our chest
And those hopeless sighs in middle of nowhere
Breathe in and out for you are here
And you have to survive this torture called Life

Saturday 13 April 2013

These Memories And Little Things

These Memories And Little Things
By: Akhilesh Agarwal

In silence of nights and darkness of skies
Is the time these memories rise
A lady dreams about running in wild
Searching for her long buried little child
An addicted teenager dreams about how bad was his fate
The day he had tried his first cigarette
And the forlorn husband about the day his wife ran away
And so hopelessly hopes that she had come back a day
And an old lady of those wicked wars
in which her husband joined those shiny stars
But among them all a little soul sleeps
Thinking of how beautifully his mother sings

Unnoticeable Disfigurement

"Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week." - Spanish Proverb

A man, too good to be true, scarred for life
In his rush, hit a truck and lost a leg
And then spilled more tears over his departing wife
His love for her: an unnoticeable disfigurement

Children threw stones at him, to check if he could run again
As he limped his way across the lane
Crutches as support, matters were worsened by rain
His courage against the odds: an unnoticeable disfigurement

From his increasing loneliness, no one could save
And in a dusky night he hanged himself
People exclaimed how weak he was over his grave
His struggle for fairness: an unnoticeable disfigurement

Tuesday 19 March 2013

Immortal

Immortal
By: Akhilesh Agarwal

I take my life and I take my soul
In hope it finds another towards whole
And Forever I shall live, Immortal I am
For I stand above the stars and brighter I shine
I shine my sins and I shine my struggles
I shine on my foes and I shine on my lovers
Meager as they are, oblivious as I am
But Forever I shall live, Immortal I am
I Live in these rhymes and those tattered pages
For good or bad, I shall be remembered for Ages
God I worship and Devil I be
Good are my intentions, Evil every deed
And I shall live in their memories, too deep to forget
Future Familiar shall hear my stories with wide eyes
And for all my wrongs and rights, I don't regret
As Forever I shall live, Immortal I am.

Cursed

"Starshide your fires; Let not light see my black and deep desires." - William Shakespeare, Macbeth

Cursed
By: Akhilesh Agarwal

Sunlight in my eyes burns in my vision down
I am short-sighted, but aren't we all now?
Never really understood the results of my deed
"Ask me my worth before you ask me my creed."

All the mysteries of life seem so overblown
Death is coming, ever should have known
But before it stings me and I fade away
Could I get a paper? There's so much to say....

If you ever look at my photo and say," Oh, such he died,
Horrible! But serves him right for so much he lied!"
There are worse things a human is guilty for
It is the hands of guilt banging on your door

Don't ever lay roses on my grave, they'd wrinkle away
Finally at peace, beneath His Heaven I lay
And never did i pray, not a single verse
Because god was in me and I was simply His curse.

Friday 15 March 2013

Farewell School

Not a poem, but still something that really matters!

Today we are young, we are hopeful, we are determined and friends, today we say goodbye. Its been many many years since I set my foot into this building and ofcourse i dont remember but my mother tells me i was crying on my first day to school. I wonder why? Maybe it was the fear of the unknown or the pain of separation, however temporary, or simply because i might have heard then too that school sucks! And look today i dont want to leave, go beyond this moment as history has come again and i am again diving headfast into the unknown. It frightens me and it scares me. But looking back i feel proud of me and everybody of you. We have come a long way and we have become more better, stronger and wiser. But this is not all that we take with us. We take with us something that can't be bought: memories. However hard we try to forget we can never forget these days. But its universe's law that says that change is the only constant. And from the next day everything shall change, for better or for worse. All i can advise you is have the fire, be a force of nature, be unstoppable, take risks, make million mistakes but have the courage too to accept it and move on. So lets remember our past, celebrate our present and oh well, who the heck cares about future!

Throwing Stones

Throwing Stones 
By: Akhilesh Agarwal

You have been forgiven, you have been forgotten 
Since you walked out of the doors of my heart 
Dont regret me, dont regret us, and dont you regret time- 
That we spent together, can i sill call you mine? 
I was a wizard and you were my magic 
Left in a downpour with nothing but a broken wand 
I am running for shelter, running at your door 
So open it wide and i will wipe the bloodstains off the floor 
I shall be your rainbow, or other thousand things- 
That shall make your head spin and heart sing 
Only if you tell me you'd love me till he do us part 
Rather than throwing stones at my feeble heart

How Do You Die?

"Life is just borrowed Time." - Grey's Anatomy

How Do You Die?
By: Akhilesh Agarwal

If ever presented with a choice, a slow but pain- 
filled or a quick end to the end of my mortal self 
I'd choose the slow because with quickest nothing i would gain 
Nor sorrow, nor pain, nor Time but just a hollow myself- 
devoid of love and soul. and what shall i not say if i could
I'd be grateful to them and leave them with last lines 
And make those confessions that in my life i never would-
have had the courage to. Clear my message, not of symbols and signs 
For clearly evident is my death and on my neck are his fangs 
Digging deeper and deeper, choking my voice and tears white 
There is nothing like tragedy, love in these heavy moments hangs 
You feel such gratefulness, hatred released unto the night 
And time takes me with him in some distant past 
My little traces of life, fading fast.

Dead And Deadly

"Don't pity the dead, pity the living." -J.K. Rowling

Dead And Deadly 
By: Akhilesh Agarwal

He lit a matchstick and brought it to my face
Stared me down with those big eyes and ugly face
And said,' Wish, kid, and that shall be yours!' 
'Bring my parents back from dead like in those lores'
He laughed and his crazy eyes gleamed even more
'What's dead is dead. It just can't be anymore.
But if strong is your will and you are of steel
I will show you a glimpse of them, oh, i will!' 
I clapped, I laughed and I nodded in approval
'Silly little child, are you absolutely sure?'
'Yes I am. Do it fast!', was the answer mine
I have been waiting for this for such a long time 
Okay, said he, and with some words and a wave of his hand
And then they came! Atlast, together we all stand
And I reached out and there was nothing there
I looked everywhere but they weren't anywhere
I looked at him and begged for a chance one more
He refused,' Kid, I'd warned you before.'
I am crazy and will look at where they stood till i live
It doesn't do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.

Thursday 14 March 2013

Back Home

Back Home
By: Akhilesh Agarwal

I wanna stay tonight
Tonight in my motherland
Because it is cold outside
And I am too weak to stand

And snowflakes and the warm sun
All your different colors and hues
Make me feel joy, feel home
I swear I forget all the blues

This is the place where I can truly be
I can speak my mind, don't think twice
The only place where I feel the love
That cleanses your soul and brings tears to your eyes

So no, nowhere else I had rather go
So tonight, tonight I choose to stay
Stay the place where I really belong
And shut the lights and call it a day.



Troubled Weather

Troubled Weather
By: Akhilesh Agarwal

The sun shines with greater severity
Destruction: In my hear, in this city
And in his hat a second red feather
Shines above the mist of troubled weather

He wore his uniform, he steeled his eyes
He hugged me and my mother, like that would suffice
Mother has been crying, thousands are dying
I can't sleep nowadays, they are still dying
And the red bird is still flying never giving a care
Should he save his son or other thousands from nightmare?
Maybe you are a hero, maybe you make the country safe
But come back now because it is me now who you need to save.