Lasting Hours

Speak in silence so that we are never misunderstood.

Lasting Hours
By: Akhilesh Agarwal

Tell me your every thought and we will bury them in these walls
This world can never see us or hear us talk
We will speak in the language of water
So that our words flow away with every syllable
We will huddle under the arches when it pours
And dissolve the truth in the muddy waters

We will claw at them, tear apart every brick together
And when we can’t find our words, we can’t find ourselves
We will lie silent in the tombs we build of empty bricks
And enshrine our ground to a brand new glory.

Skin Deep

'The only heaven I will be sent to is when I am alone with you.' ~Take Me To Church, Hozier
Skin Deep
By: Akhilesh Agarwal

I was not an irony when I said touch me
When I looked at you, you know me
It was reality when I yearned for your touch
Instead of being haphephobic

I interlock my arms into a shape
I think would fit around your waist
You don’t dare, you say
I say touch me

I am a stripped sky
Let your fingers trace all the clouds
Let the sparks form the stars
I could hold your lush within me
My back has a valley and face plateaus
These freckles are your directions
Reach deeper than I allow
And take all my parts to keep
When you, someday, touch me.

Earnest

'Be careful, you are not in wonderland. I have heard the strange madness long growing in your soul but you are fortunate in your ignorance, your isolation. You, who have suffered, find where love hides, give, share, lose, 'lest we die unbloomed.' ~Kill Your Darlings
Earnest
By: Akhilesh Agarwal

Father, these bones have aged
Even though the world is not as nearly as cruel
As it was to you, oh dear father
These bones are done, as they kneel in your presence
I close my eyes, heave a sigh
Asking you to take me home and sing to me
Like you used to when I was born in winter
With the crush of leaves, your wrinkled eyes
Smiled the widest when I held your heart
You held me like I was china, I loved you
I love you, father. Come back and forgive me
For I got exhausted so early
This world may be an unforgettable melody
But it is your every breath that is music to me.

Burnt Shades

Whatever happens, I hope we always find our way back to each other. 

Burnt Shades

By: Akhilesh Agarwal

Lover, where have you been?

I have been waiting, below this sky green

My thoughts wander, I lose you sometimes

You go out of my meanderings, you remain

In this heart, in this vision, in these hopes

Come back, I can’t take the pain

I come back to you with every breath I take

I come back to you because of every word you said

Lover, is it beautiful where you are?

Is it as warm and familiar as the skin of my palm?

It has been so long, my skin is dry and taut now

The crooks in my shoulders don’t feel quite right

The shape of my toes don’t feel quite right either

Lover, maybe I need you to see myself

Do this at least, come back a moment

And whisper to me, you are disappearing.  

Like A Cat, It Meows Too

'When that old river runs past your eyes/ To wash off the dirt on the riverside/ Go to the water so very near/ The river will be your eyes and ears.' ~ Riverside, Agnes Obels
Like A Cat, It Meows Too
By: Akhilesh Agarwal

You rolled off the mountain
In parts and pieces, in beats and kisses
You held at your dangling weeds
And hoped they would keep you from falling

You were a storm’s child, a waking
of a new era, a message of beauty
You were mine, to keep and cherish
But the cold, it broke your heart

You were an epiphany of a night
To be forgotten by the day
You were musings of my unbounded spirit
Sleeping by the door.

Thread Tale

'It's the real world, full of gaps and inconsistencies and anticlimaxes.' ~Haruki Murakami, 1Q84
Thread Tale
By: Akhilesh Agarwal

It was her world, the one she was knitting
With threads and needles
Spectacles and seasons
It was made of red and blue threads
Surrounding the yellow at the core
It was knitted in a perfect ball
Not like flattened imperfection of this world

You see, it was her world, the one she was knitting
And it was made of fingers and nails
That had touched them at all places
She knit them all day and night
She knit them close, she knit them tight
She hummed a tune that reminded the threads
It was life giving life, so not to fear otherwise.

It was her world, the one she was knitting
That she bounced around the room, to and fro
She didn’t hate the world, the one she was breathing
Because at least it never left a thread behind on the floor.

Gravity

Everybody needs a place. It shouldn't be inside of someone else. ~Richard Siken
Gravity
By: Akhilesh Agarwal

The whole world has fallen asleep
Like a tired sack dissolving in ground’s feet
The dogs have hung up their coats
And stopped barking for silence to come home
The ocean rests its tired arms
Under the glow of moonlight that has to go
But I stay up reading the letters I wrote
To you, who has gone beyond a postal code.

I have found my gravity in memories
Embodiment of nostalgia, or is it something more?
Should I move ahead to the void that stretches far beneath
Or fall back to the cushion of a time that hollows back ago?
I do not know.

I could ask you, send you danger flares of red
Does heaven provide a benefit of one rescue operation?
Because the problem is that the world has fallen asleep
And I have no ground to dissolve into.

One Can Wonder

I love how life is just one big metaphor and I love those who fight to make it something more than that.

One Can Wonder

By: Akhilesh Agarwal

The path emblazoned green and yellow, trampled and beautiful,

when it rained, it welcomed a king and hid the sun away

It lent a ear to the hollow voice that was full of dull, ache less

musings of a terrible mind, a mind not bound to heart,

a heart that seemed to ever escape and return listless and empty,

the clouds absorbed every single word that came streaming out

but nobody understands the words of a thunder clap.

He wondered if someday he would never reach the destination, and not have the courage to go back,

He wondered if the road continued on, the trees would follow, or will they shed away in the yawning winter,

He wondered if his bones would tire away or will he be stuck in this moment like a photograph

He wondered if that would feel good or bad.

Randomities

You are, and that is so wonderful in itself.

P.S.: I know such a word as 'randomities' doesn't exist but I seriously wish it would.

Randomities
By: Akhilesh Agarwal

Look, honey, the society is crumbling
Like a sugar castle caught in vortex rain
We have got to take a stand now
Pity we can’t stand on the moon

Look, honey, the society is crumbling
The air smells different, the dirt on my face
feels different, I am different
I said I would survive the downpour
I am under the umbrella of your misguided words
I am under the skin of the tiger that roars inwardly
I am under the wreckage of my own doing
And tonight I get to finally own
Pity I can’t own the moon

Maybe someday I would go to the moon, fuck gravity
And look at the blue the earth is
And blues the earth feels
And wonder how sun could fail so miserably.

Growing Up or Growing In?

The Circle of Life is a bitch and that scares me.
 
Growing Up or Growing In?
By: Akhilesh Agarwal
 
You should have seen the heartaches
That the night left in its wake
Farther from the benches
Where we used to lull off the pain
The bubbles crashed upon us
And left us tear-streaked
We picked the bubblegums out of hearts
Where they stuck like your insults did
 
You inhaled your knees at its bony cleft
And bit away the agony of the heart
I felt the dark inhale me in
You forced it to exhale out
I fell in your sea, like a sunken ship
Never had I felt so found
 
You stood below the kite-dripped sky
The colours dead in your lidded eye
You should have gone when he asked
Now, dear, dear, it’s too late

 

Spread Open

Spread Open

By: Akhilesh Agarwal

 

His face was beaten

Thrashed open by whiplashes

He wore his battle scars like night sky holds stars

To look beyond the skin

And to never look beyond him

He wore a plaid shirt over his skinned chest

His knuckles punctured between his gritted teeth

He looked at his dead brother in a pool of red

Dead, Dead, Dead

He wore his battle scars like his brother held life in his dead eyes.

 

MindBits #4

My mother once taught me this trick; whenever you feel depressed, hold your right thumb under your left wrist and feel your pulse. Close your eyes then. And now start singing, forming words that may not make sense or words you couldn’t possibly say, and tap your feet a bit, shake your head a bit.

How is that supposed to help, I asked.

 

Don’t you see it? You are music, baby. And music is never ugly and moreover, never lonely. Everybody loves music.

 

 

Identity

If the skin sheds away, and the flesh rots away, and just this soul remains, its beat and heat, am I still the same or have I changed?

Identity
By: Akhilesh Agarwal

Can you name the fears that have languished

The despairs that you have burdened

The wonders that have gone amiss

And every single soul that you caressed

The name of your smile that got lost in smoke and ash

The desires that ailed you, that healed you

The parts you buried, the parts that washed away

Name them, and I will name you too.

Hear It In The Whispers

To, A Friend. By, A Friend.

Hear It In The Whispers
By: Akhilesh Agarwal

I know a girl who says, Stop Running

She sits on the cobbled streets, below the shiny windowpanes

And never begs, no, her hands are too open

She says that to every person by and by

She says that with a smile that encompasses

The world that she snickers at

She never looks at the sky like it’s too high

Or like the ground too soiled

She looks at the world like it is a memory

And she a nostalgia, a figment of it anyways

She looks at me like I am her part

And even I know I am

 

Octahedron

The world troubles, hurts and exploits. We all have a breaking point. The question is: What's yours?

 

Octahedron

By: Akhilesh Agarwal

 

The world never stops

She soaped the dirt away

She brushed the night away

Her screams curdled beneath her neck

The world never stops

His lips formed eight pointed apices

She dug her grave in an octahedron

She would have forgiven too

But the world never stopped

MindBits #3

Many people fear Death. They are afraid of the end, the dimming of lights, the fall of curtain or the wilting of leaves. They are afraid that everything they have known, represented, fought for and gathered over the years shall fade away into nothing. They would become The One Who Lived and Was Forgotten With Time. That may be scary to some but to me it gives hope.

I think Death comforts me, reassures me and makes me move on, no matter what. Isn't that what hope does exactly? I look at all my troubles, my struggles and my desperation and it makes me glad to know that they had all pass eventually and what shall take place shall either be bliss ( a long shot, that one!) or Death, ah! that sweet end. The day the contract of my body, soul and mind expires and they each go their own way. Body shall decompose and lend life to somebody else, soul shall find another to hinder and torture and my mind, of course would teach, enlighten or make a complete fool of someone else!

It gives me immense pleasure to know that this shall end and something, anything  shall take it's place. Anything has to be better than nothing, the way i feel right now. So yes, Death comforts me, reassures me and makes me move on because I know that however hard I may screw up, I have a way out.

Summer

"When I am silent, I have thunder hidden inside." ~Rumi

Because there are bigger truths to face and scarier demons to fight. Because there are times to hold on and time to let go.

Summer
By: Akhilesh Agarwal

The life ran over your mangled body

I saw that the sky was yellow bright

You breathed in the concrete and sweat

I hate summers now

You shone like my backyard bulb

Bright, time-light

You laughed like the ocean

Vast, free

You left without a trace

A pathetic eulogy was sung

Sung on that spit summer day

I hate summers now

 

MindBits #2

"The woods are lovely, dark and deep/ But I have promises to keep/ And miles to go before I sleep/ And miles to go before I sleep." ~Robert Frost

 

How easy it is to stop believing in your dreams, to fall for the distractions, to be convinced of your insignificance or to be just tired of getting up, working the hardest you can and not getting anywhere.

But that’s what dreams-becoming-reality is made up of:  conviction, to believe in your dreams with all your heart and have wildest faith in them, wildest faith in yourself. Because how much ever we would like to believe that we are at a disadvantage and accept the situation and wallow in self-pity, we are not at a disadvantage. Instead we are at the biggest advantage a human is capable of getting and that is of having a dream.

They make our lives significant and bring a peace in their own absurd way. They focus our minds away from the mist and help us towards something that shall truly satisfy us, or maybe not. Who knows for sure? Maybe the chase would have, at the end, been for naught. But it’s as they say: it’s all about the journey and none about the destination. So as long as I am on this journey and enjoying it, I shall continue.

 

 

 

MindBits #1

"Because it's only words, and words are all I have, to take your heart away." ~BeeGees, Words

 

Can you fall in love with words? Because I think I have. I think I appreciate the beauty of these things far more than the beauty of her folded lips. I think I appreciate the company of these words far more than the company of the ensued silence between us.

I wonder why that is? Is that because I am a loner? I believe not. I think it’s to do with security. I think it’s to do with belongingness.

I feel I belong with words and they belong to me.  They are my constant reminders that not all life breathes.

They give me hope in the direst of places and love in all its faces. They make me believe in impossible things, make me believe that we are more alike than we think but at the same time, we are made in peculiar ways and have more ability than we know to achieve the  heart’s widest desires.

They leave me at times wondering, is our soul restricted to this world? Not at all. Words put forth the astounding fantasies in the most plausible manner. They dream up thousands of worlds. Can you believe it, a single mind of mortal existence capable of something so phenomenal?